Have you ever asked God for something, it came true, and then you asked God "why did You do this?"
I know that may seem silly - of course you wouldn't do that...right? Well, I have recently had his experience.
As you may have read in previous posts, we are proud parents of three little ones on Earth and two in Heaven. Considering we were told we would not likely have children on our own, five natural pregnancies is nothing short of miraculous! We are truly a blessed family!
So, what did I ask God for and then question why He made that decision?
After losing our last pregnancy, it had taken a significant toll on my emotional and spiritual health. Losing that child is the main reason why I started blogging - to help put my feelings into words. To help me process all that had happened, and focus on the amazing blessings instead of the losses.
With that said, I was still very sad. So, for several months, I would pray to God - asking for an answer to whether or not we should try to have another child. I was open to whatever God had in store for us. Whatever He wanted, I was ready. The prayer sounded something like...
Lord, please help us through this difficult time. We need to focus on the amazing blessings here with us on Earth that You have entrusted to us. My heart and mind are often wandering to what is next for our family. I know You can move mountains - I have seen it with my own eyes in what You have done for our family.
Lord, I ask of You. Please help us to know what is next. If You want us to add to our family, please make that known. If not, please make that known, too. I am struggling because this is not my decision to make and I don't want to keep "taking it back." I give this decision fully to You.
I prayed a prayer like this over and over and over again. For months, I would find myself coming back to this...until about two months ago.
What happened two months ago?
I went to the doctor and found out I was starting menopause...Menopause? What? I am only 37. How can I be in menopause? There must be a different answer. There must be some other reason. I can't be in menopause. That means...no more babies...
Even as I write those words, tears fill my eyes.
It took me several weeks to come to grips with my "diagnosis". I was struggling. Why did this happen? And then it hit me...
THIS IS WHAT I HAD BEEN ASKING GOD FOR...AN ANSWER
He sent me my answer. We were not to add to our family anymore, we could stop worrying about what's next in the baby department and start focusing on what's next for our entire family - the one we already had.
This was an answer to my prayer. He made the answer known. I guess the hardest part was, at the time, I wasn't 100% certain I liked the answer.
As the few months have passed since my diagnosis, and a few weeks since I realized this was God answering my prayer, I have come to terms with it. I am very thankful that God made the decision known and that we can move forward from that stage in our lives and focus on the next stage of our family.
Matthew 7:7 ESV: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
John 15:7 ESV: If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
Lord,
Thank You for answering our prayer. This decision was always Yours to make, and we thank You for letting the answer be known. I am sorry I did not recognize Your gift in this decision. Your answer was a gift for us, as we can now move forward fully knowing Your plan for us and for our family. Lord, we thank you for the many blessings You have given to us. We pray You help us focus on the abundance You have already provided.
Amen
Monday, June 30, 2014
What does "GREAT" Parenting look like?
Have you ever read a book that had a truly significant impact on the way you think? I mean something that permeates your thoughts and gets you to think...
WOW! I really need to make a change!
I read a book a few months ago that has had that very impact on me.
The book is called The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews - and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND any parent, expecting parent, one-day hope-to-be a parent, grandparent, godparent, aunt/uncle/cousin, teacher, babysitter, nanny, neighbor to a child, etc. to read this book (and if you are reading this and do not fit into any of the above categories, please read it, too!).
I can tell you all the reasons why this is a MUST READ:
Take a moment to think about it - what results would you like to see in your children as they become adults?
Here is just one example - To be honest.
I think most - if not all - would agree that we would like our children to be honest now, and continue as they grow up.
Great - CHECK... Uh Oh - Wait...
What do I need to do to help encourage and support that behavior?
What am I doing now encourages or discourages this behavior?
You might be thinking - no parent encourages their children to be dishonest. And, I would agree that most parents do not intentionally engage in behaviors that would encourage dishonesty. But what about the unintentional comments / behaviors?
And, that is just one of the 21 results in The Noticer Returns. So, I highly recommend you buy and read the book - and then, sit down with your significant other and talk about the future for your children. Talk about how to get the results you desire in them. And then, most importantly, talk about what you will start doing, continue doing, and stop doing to encourage those results.
Here is what is so amazing. When we had this discussion, we realized all the things we were doing right - and many things we would like to change. The good news is, the things we were doing right were a lot of the "big things" - the things you cannot miss on - the 90%. Once we recognized that, we thought about the smaller things - the 10% things - the things that usually go unnoticed but make a big difference. It was there that we found most of our opportunities to improve.
Last point - this was a very encouraging conversation for us (and I hope it would be for you, too). We focused on the positives, the things we were already doing, and the couple of things we would think about changing (and the WHY we wanted to change it). As we settled on those items, we felt great about the path we were setting for our family.
Lord, I thank You for sharing this book with us. I pray that You help my husband and I think about the future life we are creating for our children, and choose our actions and behaviors in accordance with those outcomes. I pray that You help us recognize when we are choosing to act otherwise and help us to get back on track. As I look at the three amazing little children you have placed in our care, I pray that You help us mold and shape them into the amazing adults You made them to be. I know You have something very special in store for them - and I can hardly wait to see what that is.
Amen
WOW! I really need to make a change!
I read a book a few months ago that has had that very impact on me.
The book is called The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews - and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND any parent, expecting parent, one-day hope-to-be a parent, grandparent, godparent, aunt/uncle/cousin, teacher, babysitter, nanny, neighbor to a child, etc. to read this book (and if you are reading this and do not fit into any of the above categories, please read it, too!).
I can tell you all the reasons why this is a MUST READ:
- Well Written
- Engaging Storyline with believable characters
- Draws you in within the first few pages
- Quick read - you can likely read it from cover to cover within a few hours
- Thought-provoking
Take a moment to think about it - what results would you like to see in your children as they become adults?
Here is just one example - To be honest.
I think most - if not all - would agree that we would like our children to be honest now, and continue as they grow up.
Great - CHECK... Uh Oh - Wait...
What do I need to do to help encourage and support that behavior?
What am I doing now encourages or discourages this behavior?
You might be thinking - no parent encourages their children to be dishonest. And, I would agree that most parents do not intentionally engage in behaviors that would encourage dishonesty. But what about the unintentional comments / behaviors?
- Mom / Dad doesn't need to know that you spilled your milk on the floor
- Don't tell Mom / Dad we didn't go to school today and instead went to a game
- Don't tell Mom / Dad we didn't brush our teeth tonight...
- I'll take cash out so Mom / Dad doesn't know how much we spent on...
- There are no secrets in this family - we tell each other everything
- There isn't anything you cannot tell me - I will always be there to help you through anything
And, that is just one of the 21 results in The Noticer Returns. So, I highly recommend you buy and read the book - and then, sit down with your significant other and talk about the future for your children. Talk about how to get the results you desire in them. And then, most importantly, talk about what you will start doing, continue doing, and stop doing to encourage those results.
Here is what is so amazing. When we had this discussion, we realized all the things we were doing right - and many things we would like to change. The good news is, the things we were doing right were a lot of the "big things" - the things you cannot miss on - the 90%. Once we recognized that, we thought about the smaller things - the 10% things - the things that usually go unnoticed but make a big difference. It was there that we found most of our opportunities to improve.
Last point - this was a very encouraging conversation for us (and I hope it would be for you, too). We focused on the positives, the things we were already doing, and the couple of things we would think about changing (and the WHY we wanted to change it). As we settled on those items, we felt great about the path we were setting for our family.
Lord, I thank You for sharing this book with us. I pray that You help my husband and I think about the future life we are creating for our children, and choose our actions and behaviors in accordance with those outcomes. I pray that You help us recognize when we are choosing to act otherwise and help us to get back on track. As I look at the three amazing little children you have placed in our care, I pray that You help us mold and shape them into the amazing adults You made them to be. I know You have something very special in store for them - and I can hardly wait to see what that is.
Amen
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