What does "GREAT" Parenting look like?

Have you ever read a book that had a truly significant impact on the way you think?  I mean something that permeates your thoughts and gets you to think...

WOW!  I really need to make a change!

I read a book a few months ago that has had that very impact on me.

The book is called The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews - and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND any parent, expecting parent, one-day hope-to-be a parent, grandparent, godparent, aunt/uncle/cousin, teacher, babysitter, nanny, neighbor to a child, etc. to read this book (and if you are reading this and do not fit into any of the above categories, please read it, too!).

I can tell you all the reasons why this is a MUST READ:

• Well Written
• Engaging Storyline with believable characters
• Draws you in within the first few pages
• Quick read - you can likely read it from cover to cover within a few hours
• Thought-provoking

Here is the reason why I LOVE the book - It helped my husband and I have a really great discussion on our ultimate results we wish to see in our children when they grow up and become adults.  That is a pretty heavy statement - which now you might be able to see why this has been permeating my thoughts almost every moment.

Take a moment to think about it - what results would you like to see in your children as they become adults? 

Here is just one example - To be honest.

I think most - if not all - would agree that we would like our children to be honest now, and continue as they grow up.

Great - CHECK...  Uh Oh - Wait... 

What do I need to do to help encourage and support that behavior?
What am I doing now encourages or discourages this behavior?

You might be thinking - no parent encourages their children to be dishonest.  And, I would agree that most parents do not intentionally engage in behaviors that would encourage dishonesty.  But what about the unintentional comments / behaviors?

• Mom / Dad doesn't need to know that you spilled your milk on the floor
• Don't tell Mom / Dad we didn't go to school today and instead went to a game
• Don't tell Mom / Dad we didn't brush our teeth tonight...
• I'll take cash out so Mom / Dad doesn't know how much we spent on...

You see, every day, we have the opportunity to encourage or discourage in subtle ways that will demonstrate to our children our expectations on honesty.  Think about these comments:

• There are no secrets in this family - we tell each other everything
• There isn't anything you cannot tell me - I will always be there to help you through anything

I am certain you can think of (are now thinking of) many other ways to encourage honesty from your children (or the children around you). 

And, that is just one of the 21 results in The Noticer Returns.  So, I highly recommend you buy and read the book - and then, sit down with your significant other and talk about the future for your children.  Talk about how to get the results you desire in them.  And then, most importantly, talk about what you will start doing, continue doing, and stop doing to encourage those results.

Here is what is so amazing.  When we had this discussion, we realized all the things we were doing right - and many things we would like to change.  The good news is, the things we were doing right were a lot of the "big things" - the things you cannot miss on - the 90%.  Once we recognized that, we thought about the smaller things - the 10% things - the things that usually go unnoticed but make a big difference.  It was there that we found most of our opportunities to improve. 

Last point - this was a very encouraging conversation for us (and I hope it would be for you, too).  We focused on the positives, the things we were already doing, and the couple of things we would think about changing (and the WHY we wanted to change it).  As we settled on those items, we felt great about the path we were setting for our family.

Lord, I thank You for sharing this book with us.  I pray that You help my husband and I think about the future life we are creating for our children, and choose our actions and behaviors in accordance with those outcomes.  I pray that You help us recognize when we are choosing to act otherwise and help us to get back on track.  As I look at the three amazing little children you have placed in our care, I pray that You help us mold and shape them into the amazing adults You made them to be.  I know You have something very special in store for them - and I can hardly wait to see what that is. 

Amen