Sorry - I should have sent this on Friday. It's been a fun & busy weekend with family in town. And, while we couldn't bring in a Notre Dame win (still think that was a very questionable call), it was a great weekend.
Update:
We saw the oncologist on Friday for a post-op appointment. She was very pleased with the surgery, the healing, and re-confirmed that the pathology was clear - no radiation / no chemotherapy! I'm Cancer-Free!!! PRAISE GOD!!!
She recommended I go back to my original GYN in 6-months for a follow-up test. Depending on those results, I will either need to go back every 6 months or annually for a few more years.
To everyone reading this - THANK YOU! Whether you brought us a meal, sent flowers / card, called/ sent a text, added us to a prayer list, prayed, etc. - you are all part of this journey. And, we cannot thank you enough for all of the love, support and prayers!
That said, I know I need to share the following:
It's My Fault:
There are many different kinds of cancer that start in various parts of the body - most of them without any understanding of the cause. That's not my story...
We all know that God wants us to "save ourselves" for marriage.. for us to keep the marriage bed pure. Here are two verses on the topic (there are many others...)
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (GNB):
Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body; but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body.
Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself but to God; He bought you for a price. So use your bodies for God's glory.
Hebrews 13:4 (GNB):
Marriage is to be honored by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
Unfortunately, my husband and I didn't come into our marriage pure. So, even though we have been fully faithful to each other for our entire marriage and we know that God has forgiven us for those sins - it doesn't mean that He took away the consequences for those actions.
While most people think about the consequences of heart break, pregnancy and STDs - most people don't think about cancer...
My cancer was caused by HPV. That virus made changes in my cervix that turned into a very aggressive form of cancer. And, had it not be found and treated quickly, it would have spread rapidly throughout my body.
I am a LUCKY ONE:
Here is the good news through all of this - I am a Lucky One!
- We found it early
- It was cured
- I have a great job with benefits to allow for time off & cover most costs
- I have great family, friends & faith to get us through this journey
Think about it -
- How many others don't have insurance (or good insurance) so they don't go to the doctor to have the check-ups?
- How many others find it later leading to additional treatments, and may never hear the words - Cancer-Free?
- How many others find out they have cancer, but they cannot afford the time off or the treatments?
- How many others go through this without a great support system?
- How many others pull away from God at the time when they need Him the most?
I have to own this...It was my fault! And, while I am still not 100% sure what God's plans are for me, I do believe this is part of that journey - to share this experience to help others make better choices and not have to experience this for themselves.
My message today is this (especially for those entering ages when sex is accepted and expected) -
STAY PURE! WAIT FOR MARRIAGE - It is WORTH IT!
And, I say this from a place of experience on the opposite side. I didn't save myself. And, while I experienced the sadness and heart break, I had no idea my choices would potentially take my life. How sad would it be that I could bring three amazing children into this world, but not see them grow up because of my own poor choices???
And, when others say that saving yourself isn't important, the Bible was written for a different time, that just isn't even possible in the 2000s, remember these two things:
Romans 12:2 (GNB):
Do not conform yourselves to this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and is pleasing to Him and is perfect.
Matthew 7:13-14 (GNB):
"Go in through the narrow gate, because the gate to hell is wide and the road that leads to it is easy, and there are many who travel it. But, the gate to life is narrow and the way that leads to it is hard, and there are few people who find it.
Others will say things to make themselves feel better about their poor choices. I say this also from experience. When you see others making better choices, it hurts. It's like looking in the mirror and not liking what you see. So, you can either accept the choices you have made and change - or - you can take the easier road...You can make fun of those making better choices to try to bring them down.
And, if you have already made a choice that you regret - pray, ask God for forgiveness, and make better choices from now on. That's the amazing thing about our loving, forgiving God - He has the amazing ability to forgive and to set you back on the path to His plans.
Father,
I again come to You today in Thanksgiving! Thank You for loving me, for forgiving me, and for seeing me through this latest journey. I pray the words I shared today helps someone not fall off of Your path as I did - or helps someone get back on the path as I did.
I pray You continue to help me make the right choices that are pleasing to You. I know You have a plan for each one of us - and I am truly grateful for Your forgiveness so that I still have the opportunity to see that plan come to life.
In Jesus' Name!
Amen
Monday, October 20, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
The How...
I will say that this post has been on my mind for the past week. Since I wrote the last one, I have been praying about this one. I even started doing research on the Internet about "the how."
Let me just say...I was starting to stress out.
Then, my friend posted the following on Facebook:
After reading this, it hit me - This entire blog has been about my journey. So, this post should be about my "how." There are many other opportunities to read what others say about "how" to build a deeper relationship with Christ.
So, here are the three ways I started to build a deeper relationship with God: Reading, Listening, Praying!
Reading: If we want to "know" Him, we need to learn about Him!
When I first started this journey, I wasn't ready to jump in with both feet and read The Bible. I wasn't sure I would understand it. So, I started with a few book series:
- The Left Behind Series by LaHaye & Jenkins
- The Firstborn Series by Karen Kingsbury
- The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews (this is more of a recent find - and it's a great one!)
These were great starts that read like novels and pull you in. They have great messages that are shared in ways that anyone would love the books.
Some authors I found later in my journey that write amazing books are:
Chip Ingram
- Living on the Edge
- God - As He Longs for You to See Him
- The Genius of Generosity
Andy Stanley
- How to Be Rich
- The Principle of the Path
And, here are three other great finds:
- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young - a great daily devotional
- Pocket Prayers by Max Lucado - another great 40-day devotional I just found
- YouVersion Bible (found in any App Store)
---Here, you can change versions, set up reading plans, etc.
Regardless of the amount of time we have each day - five minutes or many hours - there are endless options to help each one of us gain a greater understanding of God...and what He wants for us!
Listening: We are surrounded by messages on consumerism. We should want MORE, BIGGER, FASTER, NEWER, SHINIER, etc. And, we should want all of that NOW! Actually, we should already have it. And, if you don't have the money, there is a payment plan, a credit card, a financing deal, etc.
Not only that, but think about what we watch on TV, read about, hear on the radio - most of it is not fit for eyes & ears of little ones. So, what does that say about adults? If kids shouldn't see it, why should we? Just because we can - does that mean we should?
- Does this make us more likely to make good decisions or bad ones?
- Does it help us stay on the narrow path or make the wider, easier path more acceptable?
When we are surrounded by those messages all day, every day, it is difficult to understand that this is not what God had intended for us.
Romans 12:2 (GNB): Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind.
There are several ways to start listening to other messages:
Music:
- FM Radio: K-Love or Air1 are both great Christian Contemporary Radio stations with great songs!
- XM 63 - The Message (plays the same songs as the stations above)
Great Pastors to Listen to:
- FM Radio - these are usually in the high 80's or low 90's on FM
- XM 131 - Family Talk
- TV Stations: CBN, TBN, others
- I love listening to Andy Stanley, Chip Ingram, Joyce Meyer, Dr. Charles Stanley, Beth Moore and many others.
When I started to spend more time surrounding myself with Christian messages - either in the form of song or through Bible teachings - I realized how much time I spent filling my mind with things other than what God had wanted. And, I saw how those things effected my decisions and my attitude.
The more I heard, the more I wanted to hear.
The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn.
The Bible became the Living Word - not a book written thousands of years ago.
Praying: To truly be in conversation with God. To seek Him first in all you do and ask for His guidance and direction.
This is truly a place where I long to get better. A friend and I were joking the other day about how easy it is to pray BOLDLY for others, and how difficult it is to pray BOLDLY for ourselves.
And, it is easy to pray when things are good and to give God praise. But what happens when everything isn't going well?
Here is a great song about that: Fall Apart by Josh Wilson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKISYTwnn0A
From what I read, God wants us always. In the good times and the bad. In the easy time and the hard times. He longs for us to talk to Him like we would talk to our Earthly Father. And, here is His promise:
John 15:7 (GNB): If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, then you will ask for anything you wish, and you shall have it.
I started the Pocket Prayers by Max Lucado because I want to deepen my relationship with God. And, I know the way to do that is through prayer. So, I'm on day 5 of 40 - working on deepening my relationship with God.
All this being said - there are many ways to build a deeper relationship with God. My ways were reading, listening & praying. And, I say all this with that Facebook post in mind - "I am not holier than thou. I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace - somehow!"
Father,
I am so very thankful for the ways You have helped me draw closer to You. I thank You for the many gifts You have given to Your children:
- The gift of writing about You so we can know You
- The gift of song so we can hear of Your Greatness
- The gift of delivery so we can know The Bible is The Living Word
- The gift of connection so that we can see how glorious a life with You can be!
I pray for Your continued help, support and guidance. I pray You help me to seek You first - always. And, I pray You help me to see all of the amazing wonders You have given us on Earth that prove Your existence and Love!
In Jesus' name,
Amen!
Let me just say...I was starting to stress out.
Then, my friend posted the following on Facebook:
After reading this, it hit me - This entire blog has been about my journey. So, this post should be about my "how." There are many other opportunities to read what others say about "how" to build a deeper relationship with Christ.
So, here are the three ways I started to build a deeper relationship with God: Reading, Listening, Praying!
Reading: If we want to "know" Him, we need to learn about Him!
When I first started this journey, I wasn't ready to jump in with both feet and read The Bible. I wasn't sure I would understand it. So, I started with a few book series:
- The Left Behind Series by LaHaye & Jenkins
- The Firstborn Series by Karen Kingsbury
- The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews (this is more of a recent find - and it's a great one!)
These were great starts that read like novels and pull you in. They have great messages that are shared in ways that anyone would love the books.
Some authors I found later in my journey that write amazing books are:
Chip Ingram
- Living on the Edge
- God - As He Longs for You to See Him
- The Genius of Generosity
Andy Stanley
- How to Be Rich
- The Principle of the Path
And, here are three other great finds:
- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young - a great daily devotional
- Pocket Prayers by Max Lucado - another great 40-day devotional I just found
- YouVersion Bible (found in any App Store)
---Here, you can change versions, set up reading plans, etc.
Regardless of the amount of time we have each day - five minutes or many hours - there are endless options to help each one of us gain a greater understanding of God...and what He wants for us!
Listening: We are surrounded by messages on consumerism. We should want MORE, BIGGER, FASTER, NEWER, SHINIER, etc. And, we should want all of that NOW! Actually, we should already have it. And, if you don't have the money, there is a payment plan, a credit card, a financing deal, etc.
Not only that, but think about what we watch on TV, read about, hear on the radio - most of it is not fit for eyes & ears of little ones. So, what does that say about adults? If kids shouldn't see it, why should we? Just because we can - does that mean we should?
- Does this make us more likely to make good decisions or bad ones?
- Does it help us stay on the narrow path or make the wider, easier path more acceptable?
When we are surrounded by those messages all day, every day, it is difficult to understand that this is not what God had intended for us.
Romans 12:2 (GNB): Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind.
There are several ways to start listening to other messages:
Music:
- FM Radio: K-Love or Air1 are both great Christian Contemporary Radio stations with great songs!
- XM 63 - The Message (plays the same songs as the stations above)
Great Pastors to Listen to:
- FM Radio - these are usually in the high 80's or low 90's on FM
- XM 131 - Family Talk
- TV Stations: CBN, TBN, others
- I love listening to Andy Stanley, Chip Ingram, Joyce Meyer, Dr. Charles Stanley, Beth Moore and many others.
When I started to spend more time surrounding myself with Christian messages - either in the form of song or through Bible teachings - I realized how much time I spent filling my mind with things other than what God had wanted. And, I saw how those things effected my decisions and my attitude.
The more I heard, the more I wanted to hear.
The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn.
The Bible became the Living Word - not a book written thousands of years ago.
Praying: To truly be in conversation with God. To seek Him first in all you do and ask for His guidance and direction.
This is truly a place where I long to get better. A friend and I were joking the other day about how easy it is to pray BOLDLY for others, and how difficult it is to pray BOLDLY for ourselves.
And, it is easy to pray when things are good and to give God praise. But what happens when everything isn't going well?
Here is a great song about that: Fall Apart by Josh Wilson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKISYTwnn0A
From what I read, God wants us always. In the good times and the bad. In the easy time and the hard times. He longs for us to talk to Him like we would talk to our Earthly Father. And, here is His promise:
John 15:7 (GNB): If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, then you will ask for anything you wish, and you shall have it.
I started the Pocket Prayers by Max Lucado because I want to deepen my relationship with God. And, I know the way to do that is through prayer. So, I'm on day 5 of 40 - working on deepening my relationship with God.
All this being said - there are many ways to build a deeper relationship with God. My ways were reading, listening & praying. And, I say all this with that Facebook post in mind - "I am not holier than thou. I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace - somehow!"
Father,
I am so very thankful for the ways You have helped me draw closer to You. I thank You for the many gifts You have given to Your children:
- The gift of writing about You so we can know You
- The gift of song so we can hear of Your Greatness
- The gift of delivery so we can know The Bible is The Living Word
- The gift of connection so that we can see how glorious a life with You can be!
I pray for Your continued help, support and guidance. I pray You help me to seek You first - always. And, I pray You help me to see all of the amazing wonders You have given us on Earth that prove Your existence and Love!
In Jesus' name,
Amen!
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Religion - Belief - Faith - Relationship... What's the Difference?
In a recent conversation, we were discussing the difference between Religion - Belief - Faith & Relationship with Christ. After our conversation, I was encouraged to write about it.
Who...me? Write about that? I am definitely not qualified to write on that! I have my thoughts & opinions on that, but I am definitely not an expert on that.
But, I was asked to give it some prayerful thought - so, I did. I asked God to help direct me - to post / not to post. And, if I were to post, what should be included?
Soon thereafter, I started to receive messages (they were always there - I guess I just started noticing them):
- Christian Movies: God's Not Dead, Holy Ghost, Son of God, Heaven is for Real, & many others
- The Good Wife - Christian Mediation
- Left Behind Movie (Special call out because this is currently at theatres)
The last one hit me the most because as soon as I was done praying - I sat in bed and turned on the TV - and the movie trailer was on the screen. And, in the book (probably in the movie, too) a pastor is not taken up by The Rapture. So, that one really got me thinking about the differences. Talk about an answer to a prayer!
So, while I am not an expert on the topic, here are some of the highlights from our discussion.
First - The four words are not mutually exclusive. A person can participate in all four at the same time. So, what I am going to share is my thoughts on the differences between each.
Religion (Dictionary.com): a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects
To me - this is the outward expression of belief. This would include things like going to church, wearing a cross, following a specific denominational "code of conduct" (ex. Catholics not eating meat on Fridays during lent), etc.
Often, deeper belief, faith & relationship lead to a more visible signs of religion - a tighter adherence to beliefs & practices.
Belief (Dictionary.com): something believed; an opinion or conviction
To me - belief is where it all begins. Belief is the accepting of something that cannot easily be proven. Here are some examples of questions on belief:
As a Christian, do I believe that Jesus is the Son of God? Do I believe He was sent down from Heaven by God to die on the cross for my sins? Do I believe that I am filled with the Holy Spirit? Unequivocally - YES!
And, while I do think some people can have religion without belief (going through the motions without much thought or action), I do not believe that a person can have faith or a relationship without belief. (Spoiler Alert - In Left Behind, this is why the pastor believed he was "left behind." He knew all the right things. He did the right things, but wasn't in relationship with Christ.)
Faith (Dictionary.com): the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement, etc.
To me, faith is taking belief to the next level. I can believe that Jesus is the Son of God, but do I have faith in His teachings? Do I trust that it is true? Will I change my behavior based on it?
Here is how I differentiate faith & belief in a different context - I can believe the plane I am boarding has the ability to get me to my destination. That said, do I have faith that it actually will get me there safely? Or, I think of it like this. I can have a belief - but, will I step out on faith?
Relationship (Dictionary.com): a connection, association, or involvement.
Think about those words.
- I have a connection with Jesus.
- I am associated with Jesus.
- I am involved with Jesus.
If those statements are true, would you act differently? Would you pray differently? Would you seek Him first in all situations?
Think about it - He is all-knowing, all-powerful and ever-present. Who best to talk with first prior to any decision but Him?
The gospels have a great deal to say about Jesus and Heaven. Here are two from Matthew:
Matthew 7:21-27 (GNB):
"Not everyone who calls me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but only those who do what My Father in Heaven wants them to do. When Judgment Day comes, many will say to Me, 'Lord, Lord! In Your name we spoke God's message, by Your name we drove out many demons and performed many miracles!' Then I will say to them, 'I never knew You. Get away from Me, you wicked people!'
"So then, anyone who hears these words of Mine and obeys them is like a wise man who built his house on a rock. The rain poured down, the rivers overflowed, and the wind blew hard against that house. But it did not fall, because it was built on rock.
"But anyone who hears these words of Mine and does not obey them is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain poured down, the rivers overflowed, the wind blew hard against that house, and it fell. And what a terrible fall that was!"
Think about what Jesus is saying - "I never KNEW you." It is beyond works & good deeds. He is asking for a relationship. A true connection. It is emphasized in the next verse.
Matthew 19: 16-17 (GNB):
Once a man came to Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what good thing must I do to receive eternal life?"
"Why do you ask Me concerning what is good?" answered Jesus. "There is only One who is good. Keep the commandments if you want to enter life."
So, when I read these passages, the way I interpret them is that there is a difference. And - it is…
Based on this, Christ is asking for a relationship. He wants to "Know" us. That is how our names are written in The Book of Life.
Since this is already a long one, I will focus my next post on my thoughts on "how" to be in a relationship with Christ. Again - just my thoughts, based on what I have read and my interpretation.
Lord,
I again come to You with many Thanks! Thank You for opening my eyes to Your Word. Thank You for helping to provide me the courage and knowledge to share my thoughts on this very important topic. Thank You for allowing me the opportunity to share these thoughts with others.
During these next few days, I will pray about my next post - the "how" to be in relationship with You. I pray that You continue to open my eyes, my ears and my heart to Your Word. I pray You help me find the right words, right passages, right messages to share Your Voice with others.
Amen!
Who...me? Write about that? I am definitely not qualified to write on that! I have my thoughts & opinions on that, but I am definitely not an expert on that.
But, I was asked to give it some prayerful thought - so, I did. I asked God to help direct me - to post / not to post. And, if I were to post, what should be included?
Soon thereafter, I started to receive messages (they were always there - I guess I just started noticing them):
- Christian Movies: God's Not Dead, Holy Ghost, Son of God, Heaven is for Real, & many others
- The Good Wife - Christian Mediation
- Left Behind Movie (Special call out because this is currently at theatres)
The last one hit me the most because as soon as I was done praying - I sat in bed and turned on the TV - and the movie trailer was on the screen. And, in the book (probably in the movie, too) a pastor is not taken up by The Rapture. So, that one really got me thinking about the differences. Talk about an answer to a prayer!
So, while I am not an expert on the topic, here are some of the highlights from our discussion.
First - The four words are not mutually exclusive. A person can participate in all four at the same time. So, what I am going to share is my thoughts on the differences between each.
Religion (Dictionary.com): a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects
To me - this is the outward expression of belief. This would include things like going to church, wearing a cross, following a specific denominational "code of conduct" (ex. Catholics not eating meat on Fridays during lent), etc.
Often, deeper belief, faith & relationship lead to a more visible signs of religion - a tighter adherence to beliefs & practices.
Belief (Dictionary.com): something believed; an opinion or conviction
To me - belief is where it all begins. Belief is the accepting of something that cannot easily be proven. Here are some examples of questions on belief:
As a Christian, do I believe that Jesus is the Son of God? Do I believe He was sent down from Heaven by God to die on the cross for my sins? Do I believe that I am filled with the Holy Spirit? Unequivocally - YES!
And, while I do think some people can have religion without belief (going through the motions without much thought or action), I do not believe that a person can have faith or a relationship without belief. (Spoiler Alert - In Left Behind, this is why the pastor believed he was "left behind." He knew all the right things. He did the right things, but wasn't in relationship with Christ.)
Faith (Dictionary.com): the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement, etc.
To me, faith is taking belief to the next level. I can believe that Jesus is the Son of God, but do I have faith in His teachings? Do I trust that it is true? Will I change my behavior based on it?
Here is how I differentiate faith & belief in a different context - I can believe the plane I am boarding has the ability to get me to my destination. That said, do I have faith that it actually will get me there safely? Or, I think of it like this. I can have a belief - but, will I step out on faith?
Relationship (Dictionary.com): a connection, association, or involvement.
Think about those words.
- I have a connection with Jesus.
- I am associated with Jesus.
- I am involved with Jesus.
If those statements are true, would you act differently? Would you pray differently? Would you seek Him first in all situations?
Think about it - He is all-knowing, all-powerful and ever-present. Who best to talk with first prior to any decision but Him?
The gospels have a great deal to say about Jesus and Heaven. Here are two from Matthew:
Matthew 7:21-27 (GNB):
"Not everyone who calls me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but only those who do what My Father in Heaven wants them to do. When Judgment Day comes, many will say to Me, 'Lord, Lord! In Your name we spoke God's message, by Your name we drove out many demons and performed many miracles!' Then I will say to them, 'I never knew You. Get away from Me, you wicked people!'
"So then, anyone who hears these words of Mine and obeys them is like a wise man who built his house on a rock. The rain poured down, the rivers overflowed, and the wind blew hard against that house. But it did not fall, because it was built on rock.
"But anyone who hears these words of Mine and does not obey them is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain poured down, the rivers overflowed, the wind blew hard against that house, and it fell. And what a terrible fall that was!"
Think about what Jesus is saying - "I never KNEW you." It is beyond works & good deeds. He is asking for a relationship. A true connection. It is emphasized in the next verse.
Matthew 19: 16-17 (GNB):
Once a man came to Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what good thing must I do to receive eternal life?"
"Why do you ask Me concerning what is good?" answered Jesus. "There is only One who is good. Keep the commandments if you want to enter life."
So, when I read these passages, the way I interpret them is that there is a difference. And - it is…
HUGE!!!!!
Based on this, Christ is asking for a relationship. He wants to "Know" us. That is how our names are written in The Book of Life.
Since this is already a long one, I will focus my next post on my thoughts on "how" to be in a relationship with Christ. Again - just my thoughts, based on what I have read and my interpretation.
Lord,
I again come to You with many Thanks! Thank You for opening my eyes to Your Word. Thank You for helping to provide me the courage and knowledge to share my thoughts on this very important topic. Thank You for allowing me the opportunity to share these thoughts with others.
During these next few days, I will pray about my next post - the "how" to be in relationship with You. I pray that You continue to open my eyes, my ears and my heart to Your Word. I pray You help me find the right words, right passages, right messages to share Your Voice with others.
Amen!
Monday, October 6, 2014
What I have learned...
As I sit here tonight, I am still in a bit of shock. These past 8 weeks have seemed to fly by and seemed to be moving in slow motion - both at the same time. It's been a physical, emotional and spiritual journey leading me to this - I am now Cancer-Free.
I say that knowing that I am not completely "out of the woods" so to speak. I will need to go back for tests every 3-6 months to ensure the cancer has not started in other places, but for now - as I sit here typing - I am Cancer-Free!
With that said, a great friend and mentor asked me this question:
Lord,
I say that knowing that I am not completely "out of the woods" so to speak. I will need to go back for tests every 3-6 months to ensure the cancer has not started in other places, but for now - as I sit here typing - I am Cancer-Free!
With that said, a great friend and mentor asked me this question:
What Have You Learned Through This Journey?
So, I have been thinking about that question these past few days - What Have I Learned?? Here are a two things that keep coming to mind:
1 - Attitude is Everything! Keep My Focus on God!
People have asked - How do you do it? You seem to stay so positive.
I am truly not 100% certain how to answer this question. All I know is that I have continued to only focus on that which I can control and give the rest to God. And, I didn't take it back (I have the habit of giving Him something and then within 30 minutes, taking it right back...)
Matthew 11:28-30 (GNB): "Come to Me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke and put it on you, and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and You will find rest. For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light."
By focusing only on what I could control and giving the rest to God, I truly felt light. When people would ask questions about things I couldn't control, I didn't engage in those questions. I replied - "That is the protocol" or "I can't control that" or "I trust God has that covered."
Even as I type this, I know it is easier said than done. It takes practice...lots of practice. And, it takes support. Many people aren't used to having these conversations. Think about it, it is easier to talk about the bad, the scary, the difficult instead of the happy, the hopeful, the easy. The latter aren't the most interesting conversations to have. But, the Bible says this:
Romans 12:2 (GNB): Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and pleasing to Him and is perfect.
2 - I Have A Lot More to Learn
I say this because, I am not 100% certain what I have learned during this journey. I don't have a Bible verse for this one, but I have a section of the Bible - Genesis 37-50 - The Life of Joseph. You may also have seen the play / movie - Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. Here is why this is so relevant.
Quick aside - we bought the kids a 365 days of Bible Stories book several months ago. Unfortunately, due to my travel, we just recently made it out of Genesis.
So, here is how it relates...
We were reading the stories about Joseph. And, we talked about how Joseph was always loyal to God, no matter what terrible situations he found himself in (to no fault of his own):
- Thrown in a ditch by his brothers
- Sold into slavery by his brothers
- Thrown in jail due to a lie from Potiphar's wife
No matter what, Joseph was always faithful. He knew God had a plan for him. And, he knew God would make that plan known when the time was right.
Joseph went through many trials. And, God was always there, helping to make the best of every situation. And, allowing each situation to prepare Joseph for His plan - saving Egypt (and the entire region) from famine and serving the King.
So, after these stories, I said to our oldest child - "You see, just like God had a special plan for Joseph, He has a special plan for your life, too. That doesn't mean life will be easy, it means that God will take even the most difficult situations and help you grow and learn through them. Each of those times (all the good and all the tough) will help to prepare you for the plans He has for you. You are special in His eyes. He has a special plan for you. And, I can hardly wait to watch that unfold."
With all that said, I came to bed and thought about my journeys. Each of my toughest times were followed by some of my greatest experiences. He has used each experience to help me learn and grow. So, while I know this has taught me to:
- Keep my focus on God
- Control what is controllable and give the rest to God
- Keep a Positive Attitude
I also know that there are many other things this experience has taught me. Some will become more apparent in the short-term, and others won't be realized until much later.
All in all, I do know this. God has a very special plan for me. I can hardly wait to see what it is!
Lord,
I have so many reasons to be thankful. Thank You for giving me the courage and words for this blog - not just this post, but for the entire blog. You nudged me a year ago to start putting my thoughts into writing. Little did I know that this would be my saving grace. You knew it all along. You kept nudging me until I did it. I am so very grateful for that!
And, Lord, thank You for Your Strength through this most recent journey. While not written in the Bible, it is often said that You will not give us more than we can handle. I do believe that - because You never expect us to handle anything alone. Your Strength can handle anything & everything. When we give it to You, You can handle it all. Thank You for that!
Finally, Lord, I know You have a special plan for each and every one of us. And, I know that You will use each situation we are in to help build and mold and strengthen us - to prepare us for Your plan. (Jeremiah 29:11 (GNB): I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.) Lord, I fully accept each situation, knowing it prepares me for the future You have planned for me. And, I ask that You help open my eyes, my ears, and my heart to see, hear and understand the teaching of each situation.
I Love You and I Thank You!
Amen!
Saturday, October 4, 2014
UPDATE: Praise God & Prayer Request
When I came home on Wednesday, I was physically feeling okay. Sore, but okay. The challenge was I was preparing myself for the next week of an emotional roller coaster. When I left the hospital, I was told that it would be 7-10 days before the pathology would come back. That information would determine my next steps.
- If clear, no radiation / no chemotherapy
- If not, well…
So, I tried to give it to God. This again wasn't anything I could control. The surgery went well, the doctor felt that everything looked good. She even told my dad and husband that the first procedure (done in early August) may have gotten everything. We would just need to wait for pathology.
Thursday morning, I was still in bed when the phone rang. My husband answered the phone and came upstairs a few moments later. It was the doctor. She called with the pathology -
ALL CLEAR! CLEAR PATHOLOGY! NO RESIDUAL CANCER!
HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD!
While we were always hopeful for that result, we were trying to prepare for any result possible. When we heard the news, tears were streaming from our eyes. STREAMING!
And, I froze. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I laid there praying to / praising God! He did it! Even if the results were different, He would have still been there through it. But, that was not my story. He did it! He cured me. Praise God!
In very short order, I started sending emails, texts, posts, to share the good news with all those who had been sending up prayers. It worked! Hallelujah! Praise God! And, Thank You to all of those who took the moment to pray - it worked!
So, here are the next steps:
- I meet with the doctor in two weeks to discuss the results
- I will need repeat paps every 3-6 months for the next couple of years to ensure the cell changes aren't anywhere else
Words cannot describe how grateful I am for everyone's love, support & prayers! I will be forever thankful for everyone! FOREVER THANKFUL!
So…… Why is there a prayer request in my post title?
Because, we have all seen the power of prayer. We have seen it time and time again. And, I have a friend who could really use prayer support.
PRAYER REQUEST:
My friend, Tammy, has been going through a great deal with her own cancer diagnosis. She recently had another surgery and had post-op complications. She was home doing better until yesterday.
She was rushed to the hospital with blood clots in her lungs and was placed on a ventilator. From what I understand, this morning, she may be off of the ventilator, but is still in critical condition.
Lord,
Please be with Tammy right now. Please be with the doctors and nurses to make the right diagnosis, provide the right treatment, and give her the right support. Please be with her family & friends right now to help them provide the best help and love. And, please be with Tammy right now - help her to breathe, help her to heal.
Lord, Tammy has been and is still a very faithful follower. Please hear our prayers. Please heal her. Please, Lord, help her.
- If clear, no radiation / no chemotherapy
- If not, well…
So, I tried to give it to God. This again wasn't anything I could control. The surgery went well, the doctor felt that everything looked good. She even told my dad and husband that the first procedure (done in early August) may have gotten everything. We would just need to wait for pathology.
Thursday morning, I was still in bed when the phone rang. My husband answered the phone and came upstairs a few moments later. It was the doctor. She called with the pathology -
ALL CLEAR! CLEAR PATHOLOGY! NO RESIDUAL CANCER!
HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD!
While we were always hopeful for that result, we were trying to prepare for any result possible. When we heard the news, tears were streaming from our eyes. STREAMING!
And, I froze. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I laid there praying to / praising God! He did it! Even if the results were different, He would have still been there through it. But, that was not my story. He did it! He cured me. Praise God!
In very short order, I started sending emails, texts, posts, to share the good news with all those who had been sending up prayers. It worked! Hallelujah! Praise God! And, Thank You to all of those who took the moment to pray - it worked!
So, here are the next steps:
- I meet with the doctor in two weeks to discuss the results
- I will need repeat paps every 3-6 months for the next couple of years to ensure the cell changes aren't anywhere else
Words cannot describe how grateful I am for everyone's love, support & prayers! I will be forever thankful for everyone! FOREVER THANKFUL!
So…… Why is there a prayer request in my post title?
Because, we have all seen the power of prayer. We have seen it time and time again. And, I have a friend who could really use prayer support.
PRAYER REQUEST:
My friend, Tammy, has been going through a great deal with her own cancer diagnosis. She recently had another surgery and had post-op complications. She was home doing better until yesterday.
She was rushed to the hospital with blood clots in her lungs and was placed on a ventilator. From what I understand, this morning, she may be off of the ventilator, but is still in critical condition.
Lord,
Please be with Tammy right now. Please be with the doctors and nurses to make the right diagnosis, provide the right treatment, and give her the right support. Please be with her family & friends right now to help them provide the best help and love. And, please be with Tammy right now - help her to breathe, help her to heal.
Lord, Tammy has been and is still a very faithful follower. Please hear our prayers. Please heal her. Please, Lord, help her.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
10/1 Update
Good morning! And, it is a very good morning! Praising God for seeing us through yesterday's surgery and for a somewhat good night's sleep. Here is the update:
Surgery went well. The doctor spoke with my husband and dad after the surgery and feels very confident they got it all - Praying boldly for that! If that is the case, that means no chemotherapy / radiation. If not, we will discuss next steps.
After surgery, I was definitely sleepy & in some pain. The nurses were able to get my pain medicines in sync, so that has helped. And, between the vital checks, blood draws, etc. - I was able to catch up on some sleep.
We talked with the doctors this morning (fellow & residents) - I will be able to go home today. The doctor will call in 7-10 days with the pathology results and next steps. Then, I will see her in ~2 weeks for post-op visit.
And, the nurse just came in and said I can go home in the next hour or so (by 10am) - Yeah! That is wonderful news!
I cannot tell you how much the calls, texts, e-mails, Facebook posts, etc. means to me. Thank you to my friends & family who have also sent out prayer requests to their prayer circles. I am truly overwhelmed by the love, support and prayers from everyone! Sincerely - thank you!
There are two things I want to share in closing.
1. The first is a verse from Romans - I love it as it speaks of faith, hope and patience.
Romans 8:25 (GNB): But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
2. The second is a song that I have relied on the past few weeks. While there are many Christian songs that have helped, this is the one that I have set on repeat. I know that I cannot do any of this without Christ - Philippians 4:13. (I love the words - not so sure the video content fits :))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knuHDPbE5es
Father,
I thank You for being with the doctor & staff yesterday during my surgery. I thank You for helping her to see what she needed to see, cut where she needed to cut and leave what was meant to be left. I thank You for being with me through this process, keeping my focus on You and for providing me strength.
I pray for strength these next 7-10 days while waiting for the pathology report. I pray for a clean report - with no additional cancer. I pray that the future tests are also clear and cancer-free. And, if that is not the case, I fully accept the next steps and know that You are with me.
Thank You for Your Strength! Thank You for Your Love!
Amen
Surgery went well. The doctor spoke with my husband and dad after the surgery and feels very confident they got it all - Praying boldly for that! If that is the case, that means no chemotherapy / radiation. If not, we will discuss next steps.
After surgery, I was definitely sleepy & in some pain. The nurses were able to get my pain medicines in sync, so that has helped. And, between the vital checks, blood draws, etc. - I was able to catch up on some sleep.
We talked with the doctors this morning (fellow & residents) - I will be able to go home today. The doctor will call in 7-10 days with the pathology results and next steps. Then, I will see her in ~2 weeks for post-op visit.
And, the nurse just came in and said I can go home in the next hour or so (by 10am) - Yeah! That is wonderful news!
I cannot tell you how much the calls, texts, e-mails, Facebook posts, etc. means to me. Thank you to my friends & family who have also sent out prayer requests to their prayer circles. I am truly overwhelmed by the love, support and prayers from everyone! Sincerely - thank you!
There are two things I want to share in closing.
1. The first is a verse from Romans - I love it as it speaks of faith, hope and patience.
Romans 8:25 (GNB): But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
2. The second is a song that I have relied on the past few weeks. While there are many Christian songs that have helped, this is the one that I have set on repeat. I know that I cannot do any of this without Christ - Philippians 4:13. (I love the words - not so sure the video content fits :))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knuHDPbE5es
Father,
I thank You for being with the doctor & staff yesterday during my surgery. I thank You for helping her to see what she needed to see, cut where she needed to cut and leave what was meant to be left. I thank You for being with me through this process, keeping my focus on You and for providing me strength.
I pray for strength these next 7-10 days while waiting for the pathology report. I pray for a clean report - with no additional cancer. I pray that the future tests are also clear and cancer-free. And, if that is not the case, I fully accept the next steps and know that You are with me.
Thank You for Your Strength! Thank You for Your Love!
Amen
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